The Dalai Lama is Evil

Yesterday the Dalai Lama was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal. A formal ceremony took place in the Capitol Rotunda where such luminaries as Elie Wiesel, congressmen, senators and President Bush praised the Dalai Lama for his spiritual guidance and his approach to nonviolence.

What these great leaders fail to realize is that the Dalai Lama is pure evil. Yes, he has an agenda (despite his statements to the contrary). His mission? Autonomy for Tibet! Imagine! This little country nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas wants autonomy from its open-minded, kindhearted and beneficent overlord, China. The nerve. The sheer audacity. China, the benevolent mother to 1.3 billion people, only has Tibet's best interests in mind. When its troops gently sauntered--practically danced breezily--into the country in 1959, it was only looking to do good. It's not their fault the Dalai Lama fled over the hills to India like a frightened calf. Some leader.

China has rightly "declared Buddhism 'a disease to be eradicated.'" Why, this populist cult is nothing more than a bunch of hippie peaceniks parading about in saffron robes preaching tolerance and nonviolence. Like there's anything wrong with violence. And tolerance is way overrated. How dare they. If China had any guts, frankly, they'd take the same road as Burma and simply shoot the bums on sight.

I happened to be on the West Lawn of the Capitol yesterday as the Dalai Lama made his departure out of its majestic doors onto the steps f the Capitol building. It was as if Mussolini emerged to cheering throngs of fascists. I was disgusted. This abrasive man who is adored must be put in his place.

China is right to crack down on anyone who is caught so much as carrying a picture of this miscreant. He is nothing short of a power-hungry demagogue. Sure, he wants Tibetan autonomy now. What next? Religious freedom?

Is it Me or is Dane Cook Just Not Funny?

OK -- so I've been avoiding this latest, supposedly greatest comic to come down the pike and I decide to YouTube him. And here's the thing: he ain't funny. I didn't even smile. He's juvenile, insipid, probably has ADD, immature, hyper, repetitive, inarticulate and foul-mouthed.

Maybe I'm just getting old. Maybe ADD-challenged, pacing, screaming comics are the thing now. But for my money, give me an entertainer like Mr. Don Rickles, Myron Cohn, Mort Sahl or the great Norm Crosby.

In my day, comics didn't have to use such coarse language to make a point. And they didn't go on and on. They told a joke and that was it. "Two old ladies are on a cruise. One says, 'The food here is terrible.' The other says, 'I know. And such small portions.'"

Now that's a joke. Oy. Mr. Dane Cook could learn a thing or two. Now I need to grab my Maalox and go to bed. Oy.