Uncle Moe's New Years Resolutions

Only chew cigarette tobacco.
Ease up on the sheep molestation.
While I'm at it, ease up on the molestation altogether.
Pants first, then shoes!
Less cough syrup before noon.
Two words: oboe lessons!
No, wait ... bugle lessons! (Maybe bassoon).
Keep coughing fits to five minutes or less.
Work on lint collection and string ball.
Cut staring at floor to only two hours per day.
Download all Sousa marches from iTunes.
Stop sniffing at shoes!
Stop looking at others' shoes in hopes of getting a sniff.
Read all Beetle Bailey comics, compare/contrast with Sad Sack.
No more graffiti quoting Leviticus!
More graffiti quoting Nehemiah and Colossians.
Make New Years resolution list much, much earlier.