Sunday, December 17, 2006

Fellas, What's Up With the Double Names?

Boutros Boutros-Ghali

Sirhan Sirhan


Ford Maddox Ford

Duran Duran

Major Major

Mister Mister

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Diary of a Delusional Man, Part 1



Had lunch with David Bowie today. I was saddened to see that he has not given up smoking. And he still prefers Marlboros.
"How have you been?" I asked him.
He sighed. "Very tired. Working hard. Iman and the baby. You know."
We talked about his 60th birthday. Then I asked him who the Bewlay Brothers is based on. He just laughed. Sometimes I don't think he takes me seriously.
Then he leaned in and said to me, very earnestly: "Do you think you could help me with my next album?"
I was stunned. "In what capacity?" I said.
He leaned back, drew on his Marlboro, then said: "Producer."
I let some silence pass.
"Of course, David," I said. "Of course I'll produce your next album."

Sunday, December 03, 2006

The Art of Jaywalking, Part 8 (Walk, Don't Run)


Here we get into the real mechanics of it. It's important to remember, at all times--no matter how quickly a car is bearing down on you--that it is jay walking, not jay running. So it is absolutely imperative that you keep your head about you and not give into the temptation to so much as break into a light jog. Rather, the secret is to take long strides and push hard off the balls of your feet. This will give you the momentum to get across the street quickly and smoothly without giving the appearance that you're rushing. If oncoming cars sense your fear, it will only increase your panic. Stay cool. Move like a panther. Keep your destination in mind. Stay focused. You will arrive safely.