And so, with the end near, he was unsure if anything he had learned would matter. It seemed to him that the cold, lonely lessons were merely academic strictures that had no applicability in the broader world. The firm handshake, the nervous smile, the glances, coughs and vocal tics meant less and less as he approached the final stop.
Even meaning itself held little or no meaning. He now felt as if he were entering a gigantic void, surrendering to a sense of nothingness. All the wisdom, all the mistakes, all the knowledge he brought with him would be left behind like so much clothing to shed before a bath.
He would gladly surrender these things for the peace of mind that he was sure to trade it for. But there was no guarantee of that. It was risk. And he thought it was unlikely that he had a choice.
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