On the Magazine Shelf

According to the American Magazine Association of America*, more than 15 new magazine titles appear per year**. The following are some we're looking forward to seeing:

Selfless--The magazine for practicing Buddhists.
Vague--For the barely fashionably aware.
Timeless--A bunch of articles on where your tax dollars are spent and reality TV.
Rage--For the angry man (lots of ads for Red Bull and Hummers).
OverIndulged--The magazine for people who will always be richer than you.
Better Than You--An offshoot of OverIndulged.
Overpaid Skanks--This month's issue: Brittany vs. Lindsay
Slack--We'll get around to publishing our inaugural issue. Eventually.
Procrastination Today (Maybe Tomorrow)--Publication date unknown (offshoot of Slack).
Modern Blowhard--This month's issue: Glenn Beck vs. Rush Limbaugh
American Dumbass--Mostly pictures, very few editorials.
Bad Driver! Text, drink coffee and chat -- all while mainting 80 MPH.
Road and Sky
Modern Kazoo Player
Laundry Today!--Not just a periodical (this week's lead piece: Removing Nasty Vomit Stains-- We're Not Judging)
Cave Sluts--A cross between National Geographic and Hustler
Modern Liberal Guilt Quarterly--This quarter's guest editor: Ralph Nader with "You're Still Driving that Gas-Guzzling Death Machine?"
American Shyster--Giving the term "ambulance chaser" a better spin
Fake--the definitive monthly guide to insurance fraud.
Red Meat Republicans--Eating beef and kicking ass.
Screechy Shrill Liberals--We won and we're still whining.
God damn Independents--Middle of the road, indecisive, unpredictable freaks

* This is a made-up organization
** This is a made-up statistic.