Thursday, July 31, 2008

Everything I Know About the New Testament I Learned from Jesus Christ Superstar


Who says a rock opera can't teach you anything? As a Jew, I learned very little about that dude with long hair and a beard (and I'm not talking about Michael McDonald). But here's what I did learn about books Matthew through Revelation from countless and repeated listenings to JCS:

  • Judas was kind of a jerk.
  • Jesus was not without ego.
  • Mary Magdalene was a ... well, she wasn't exactly pure.
  • Peter denied his lord three times. THREE TIMES! What a sellout.
  • Pontious Pilate was kind of effeminate.
  • Jesus had a really great falsetto.
  • There were 39 lashes. Thirty-nine!
  • Judas was torn. He made some tough decisions, let's face it.
  • The apostles were lazy drunks (and a little war hungry).
  • Judas' last name was Iscariot. Pretty cool sounding name that you don't hear a lot anymore (not wondering why).
  • Jesus was really pissed off. Really at the whole situation. (Not saying I blame him).
  • Myhr was really expensive.
  • King Herod was quite a singer. And a bit of a dandy.

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