Thursday, September 17, 2009

Projects That Martin Scorsese Turned Down

Mean Sidewalks: A day in the life of a group of suburban neighborhood toughs all aged 10 and under.

Buggy Driver: A gritty look at the life of an Amish cab driver as he goes to the brink and contemplates using an electric toaster.

Dumbfellas: Description not available at press time but was set to star Jim Carrey and Jerry Lewis.

The Gangs of New Bedford: A historical (and gritty) look at some of the tougher neighborhood battles in an otherwise quiet suburb in New Hampshire.

Fatfellas: Description not available at press time but apparently the catering budget was largely responsible for tanking this picture.

Mama, I Really Love Your Lasagna but Marie is My Wife: Paulie, a hardworking young man from Brooklyn, tries to shake loose from his mother's apron strings with hilarious results.

The Deeply Departed: A gang from the Bronx is forced to keep digging up and relocating bodies they buried in the 60s thanks to new neighborhood and business developments that keep cropping up all over the area.

The Priest: A young man is forced to choose between gang life and the priesthood with hilarious results.

I Shot That Son of a Bitch Three Times in the Head Just Like He Deserved: Description not available at press time.

Raging Mule (aka The Jackass): Set to star Ben Stiller.

The Last Temptation of Christ II: Jesus sets up a retail business and has three kids with Mary Magdalene. With hilarious results.

The Don and the Bobby Soxer: A mafia leader in 1950s Brooklyn is forced to choose between his Family (and the life) and a cute teenager who falls in love with him (and his Sinatra-like voice).

1 comment:

Sharon said...

I think I can see why he passed..