If David Mamet Wrote for Sesame Street

Bert: What is it.
Ernie: It is, Bert. It just is.
Bert: I know, Ernie. That I know. Tell me ... .
Ernie: I cannot.
Bert: And why is that? Is it because that you do not know?
Ernie: That is not the ... reason. It is much more ... complex. The reason.
Bert: Is it.
Ernie: Yes.
Bert: I do not think so. (Pause.)
Ernie: And why is that, Bert? Why is that?
Bert: Ernie. Listen. Listen to me. Ernie. Ernie.
Ernie: Yes. (A beat.)
Bert: It is you. It is ... a thing. You are looking to go to a new thing.
Ernie: Yes. I think that I am.
Bert: And so the reason is ... ?
Ernie: I do not know, Bert. Still.
Bert: I will tell you. (Pause.) It is the letter N.
Ernie: The letter N?
Bert: The letter N, Ernie. That is the answer.